


The Taste That Your Lips Allow

by gxxbxr



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Underage Drinking, a lot of drinking, basically this whole fic is about being drunk, catradora, so if alcohol isn't your thing please avoid, tw drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-03-30 03:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19033498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gxxbxr/pseuds/gxxbxr
Summary: Four times Catra and Adora get drunk together. And four times there are just too many feelings for them to handle. There's obviously alcohol involved so if that's not your thing please do not read.





	1. Innocennce

****

**Innocence**

 

   The first time they get drunk it’s an accident. Some of the older cadets somehow got their hands on a stash of liquor and left some in the mess hall. Catra had been the one to find it and had wasted no time in finding her best friend to share it with. At twelve years old they were old enough to understand they weren’t allowed to have this. But they were also old enough that this little bit of rebellion ignited a spark of excitement. 

 

   Adora was the first to drink out of the clear bottle. The first gulp had her choking and coughing violently. Catra had laughed, but Adora was sure she saw her stiffen and her eyes water when it came her turn to drink. The liquid tasted horrible, and it burned with every swallow. But Catra had acted like she was unfazed by it and Adora wasn’t going to let herself be bested.

 

   They didn’t finish the bottle. A quarter of the way through Catra had tried to stand up, swayed unsteadily, and plopped unceremoniously back down onto the floor. It had taken them both by surprise. Adora had never seen Catra be less graceful than she had been in that moment. The look of shock on Catra’s face was so indignant Adora could not suppress the giggle that burst out of her. The glare that followed, which could usually intimidate any cadet in their age range, only amplified Adora’s reaction into a full laugh. The sound echoed in the empty supply room they had hidden themselves in. At the sound, Catra launched herself at her friend more awkwardly than anticipated, bowling both of them over. She managed to cover Adora’s mouth, ears perked for any sound of footsteps. One could never be too careful in the Fright Zone. 

 

   Despite the obstruction by Catra’s hand, and the threat of being caught, Adora couldn’t stop the giggles from bubbling up. The world seemed to be spinning around her, her best friend in the whole world was there, and she felt a carefreeness she couldn’t remember ever feeling before. A small part of her brain tried to warn her that dropping her guard was a dangerous thing to do, but the larger, overwhelming part of her brain just wanted to laugh and not care about consequences. 

 

   Catra, finally convinced that no one had heard them, stared down at Adora utterly baffled. She had never seen Adora like this, lacking any self control. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Her own thought process had slowed down significantly, and the process of figuring out the emotions the situation stirred up was overwhelming. She had never been good at emotions anyway. They were confusing and distracting. And a lot of time they just hurt. 

 

   But now… now there was a feeling growing in her chest that would not be ignored. Staring down into her best friend’s flushed face, pupils blown out and a dopey grin stretching her face under Catra’s hand, the feeling grew until Catra felt like it would burst right out of her. When her hand began to shake she quickly removed it so Adora couldn’t tell. 

 

   “Thtay hwiet, ‘dora” Catra tried to warn. Her words sounded odd to her own ears. Like her mouth wasn’t moving quite right to make the sounds. Her command had the opposite effect. Instead of staying quiet Adora giggled again, louder than before.

 

   “You thound funny,” she slurred. Her own garbled speech made her burst into outright laughter. 

 

   Days later, as she tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep, Catra would justify her next actions by telling herself she had been afraid of getting caught. She would tell herself that Adora was being too loud and the noise would have gotten them discovered. 

 

   But in the moment, as she leaned forward, she could think only two things. The first was that she had never heard anything as wonderful as the unabashed joy Adora did not have the sense to contain, and the second was that every cell in her body needed to share in that joy. 

 

   The moment their lips connected Catra thought her heart might explode. Adrenaline coursed through her body with an intensity she had only felt in the toughest simulation training. However, unlike in training, she didn’t want to run. She never wanted to move away. Adora’s lips were soft and they moved against her own in the most wonderful way. They fit together perfectly, like they were meant to do this, whatever ‘this’ was, all along. When she felt Adora’s hand tangle in the hair behind her ear, Catra felt, for the first time, like she had found her home. Wherever they were together, that’s where she would always belong, in a way she could never belong in the Horde.

 

_    The Horde! _

 

   Catra jerked back as if she had been electrocuted. Her head swiveled around looking for prying eyes. Expecting glowing ones full of judgement and disapproval to stare back at her from the shadows. Waiting for the discovery and the inevitable punishment that followed. 

 

   But no one was there. No one had witnessed their magical moment. It was safe between the two of them. As safe as anything could be in this place. 

 

   When she looked back at Adora her racing heart skipped a beat. Adora was staring right back at her, eyes glazed over, yet still the most striking shade of blue Catra had ever seen. Catra had never thought of anything as beautiful before, but the way Adora looked laid out on the floor, her usually pristine hair a complete mess, Catra could find no other word to describe her. For a moment she wondered if this was a dream, or some kind of mind trick. Maybe it was a test that she was thoroughly failing. For a second she wondered if it would ever end. 

 

   A loud snort brought all of reality crashing back down on Catra.

 

   “Yer face fuuunny,” Adora drawled. She hiccuped once loudly, triggering another round of giggles. 

 

   Catra jumped to her feet, somehow managing not to tip over this time. She waited a moment for the world around her to stop spinning. Once she was sure she could stay upright, she reached down to haul Adora up. The task was much harder than expected, considering their size difference, as well as Adora’s lack of any initiative to actually stand on her own. Finally Catra had them both up and stumbling to the door. As they slowly made their way back to the cadet sleeping quarters, Catra thanked whatever good luck she had that they did not run into anyone. Arriving at their shared bunk bed, she unceremoniously dropped Adora onto the bottom mattress before climbing into her own bed. She just wanted the world to stop spinning. The tension she had felt getting there combined with whatever alcohol was left in her system had Catra feeling like she was back on a ship for naval training day. 

 

   Catra wasn’t sure how long she lay there, begging any higher power to put her out of her misery. It must have been a while, because the bunk beds around her had filled up with cadets and Adora’s intermittent giggles had turned into rough snoring. She must have dozed at some point. The world around her was steady again, but the dizziness had been replaced with a pounding headache. Despite the pain, Catra refused to close her eyes; afraid of where her mind would take her. Afraid of going back to the abandoned supply room. Of closing her eyes only to see a pair of blue ones staring back at her. 

 

   She tossed and turned until finally exhaustion took over. The last thought she had before falling asleep was that she couldn’t wait til morning to ask Adora if she had felt the same magic Catra had. 

 

   But the next morning Adora had been so sick she was sent to the infirmary, and Catra didn’t see her until dinner. They ate in silence as Catra gathered up the courage to ask about the previous day.

 

   “I don't know,” Adora had shrugged. “I can’t remember any of it. Everything is really fuzzy and it hurts to think. Let’s not do that again.”

 

   Catra never brought it up again. 


	2. Rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while... but here's chapter 2 finally! Hope you enjoy!

Rage

 

The second time they get drunk they are much older. Right on the cusp of becoming senior cadets. It’s the middle of the night when Adora finds Catra on a hidden platform overlooking the fright zone. She had spent half the day looking for her best friend, and now she found her in an old hiding spot, a half empty bottle resting next to her. 

 

Catra didn’t even look up from where she leaned on the railing as Adora moved to stand beside her. Her gaze was fixated on some arbitrary point in the distance. Adora tried her best to ignore the torn knuckles of her best friend’s hand and the fresh welts her uniform didn’t quite cover. Adora’s hands tightened into fists as guilt registered and settled deep in her chest. She hadn’t been there to keep Catra out of trouble, and Catra had clearly paid the price. 

 

“I hate them.” 

 

The words were spoken with such venom it took Adora by surprise. Catra was sarcastic and flippant. She was direct and cutting. But there was an fury in her words that Adora hadn't heard before. 

 

“I wish they were all dead.”

 

Adora started at the words and glanced around. She was pretty sure no one knew about the hideout, let alone could hear them all the way up here, but she looked around nervously nonetheless. No one had ever spoken about their superiors this way. At least, not that Adora had ever heard. They all knew the punishment for threatening their leaders. The things the Horde would do if they heard the words Catra was saying… Adora shuddered. 

 

“Every one of them,” Catra continued. “Especially Shadow Weaver. I wish i could kill her myself.”

 

“Catra!” Adora gasped. “You can’t say that!”

 

“Well it’s true!” Catra retorted. “I hate her. I hate this whole place. I can’t wait to leave. I’m gonna find a way out and I’ll never come back. I don’t care where I end up. Anywhere has to be better than here.

Once I make it out, I won’t let anyone tell me what to do. Not some stupid Force Captain, not Shadow Weaver. Not even Hordak. I’ll be in charge of me. And I’ll rip the throat out of anyone who lays a finger on me.” 

 

She interrupted her tirade to grab the bottle and take a giant gulp from it. All Adora could do was stare helplessly as her best friend guzzled copious amounts of alcohol, working herself up into more of a frenzy.  

 

Adora thought for a second Catra would try to finish off the rest of the bottle, but, to her relief, a few gulps later Catra came up for air. She wore a scowl on her face that would make most other cadets go out of their way to not cross her path, but her eyes were dull and unseeing. When the world around her twirled Catra had to grab onto the railing to stop herself from falling over. Adora took advantage of the moment of disorientation to grab the bottle from Catra’s hand. For a second she didn’t know what to do with it. She considered throwing it over the edge, or spilling out the rest on the floor. Either option, she knew, would only anger her best friend even more. She refused to give it back though. How much had Catra drank already? Too much. A dangerous amount. Adora had heard rumors of cadets getting horribly sick, and one even dying, from what the Force Captains referred to as alcohol poisoning. Had Catra had enough to poison herself? 

 

Before she could think better of it, Adora brought the bottle up to her mouth and took a giant gulp. Half the liquid came right back up as Adora coughed and gasped. It  _ burned _ ! Her entire mouth felt like it was on fire, and the liquid she had managed to keep down tore its way down her throat. Tears welled in her eyes. 

 

The second attempt didn’t hurt as bad. She managed to get a decent amount down before the burning sensation had her gasping for air. 

 

The third drink she took finished off the bottle. Adora’s head didn’t feel right. Too stuffy and too slow. There was a fuzziness that began to cloud her thoughts, almost causing her to go into a panic. Her limbs felt heavy. This wasn’t a pleasant feeling, and she wished she hadn’t had to resort to this. She wasn’t in full control of herself, and that scared her. She tried to think of something to say, maybe to argue in defense of their superiors, but nothing came out. So instead she focused on trying to steady her vision and subduing the cramping in her stomach. 

 

When Catra finally looked up, a fire burned in her eyes. She fixated on an invisible enemy only her mind could see, anger and hatred tearing through her. 

 

“You hear that?!” Adora jumped at the scream. Catra had finally worked herself up into a rage, either unaware or indifferent to threat of discovery. “Fuck YOU, Shadow Weaver! And fuck you too, Hordak! FUCK. YOU!!!”

 

Adora couldn’t remember ever feeling this terrified. The whir of machines was loud around them, but  _ someone  _ must have heard. They would come for the two of them. And the things they would do...

 

“Catra,  _ PLEASE _ ,” Adora begged. She reached out her hand, tugging on Catra’s arm.

 

Catra was beyond hearing. 

 

“Hey Octavia!” Her voice reverberated off of the metal walls nearest to them. “How about you go fuck yourself too?!!”

 

Adora’s hands were shaking and tears rolled down her face. She had to do something. She had to stop Catra before she got them both hurt. It was hard to think, but she had to do  _ something _ . If she was in complete control of her body she would have just tackled Catra and covered her mouth. Catra would hate her for it, but she would do it to keep them safe. In the state she was currently in however, Adora couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t accidentally knock them both over the ledge. So she did the only thing her mind could think of doing. She grabbed Catra. 

 

Both hands grasped the front of Catra’s uniform and pulled her close. Close enough that Adora could see the constricted pupils of Catra’s eyes. Close enough that Adora could smell the alcohol on Catra’s breath with every exhale. Close enough that their chests brushed as they both inhaled heavily, overcome with their individually overwhelming emotions. 

 

“What the hell are you doing?!” Catra growled. 

 

Adora didn’t have an answer. Her thoughts were so damn muddled. If only she could just have a moment to  _ think _ .

 

“Adora!” Catra’s voice rose. Her chest heaved as she began working herself up into a fury, struggling against the grip holding her in place. “What the hell do you thin-”

 

Adora shook her. 

 

There had always been a size difference between the two of them. Where Catra was lithe and agile, Adora had been stocky and strong. The differences had only been amplified the older they grew. However, they had never been as obvious as they were in that moment.

 

Adora lifted Catra clear off her feet. Catra hung limply, eyes wide with shock. They had  sparred many times, but Adora had never manhandled her like this before. Adora’s expresion mirrored Catra’s. They stared at each other in stunned silence for a moment. 

 

Catra was the first to snap out of it. 

 

“What the actual fu-”

 

Adora shook her again. 

 

  Catra gasped, her head snapping back. She struggled against the grip holding her in place, but the effort was futile. Her fingers felt numb, and her legs betrayed her as they refused to move in attack. 

 

“Shut. Up. Catra!” the words came out harsher than Adora intended. Her arms shook from the strain of holding her friend up, but she hardly felt it as she spat out the command, punctuating each word with a shake. “Shut! Up!”

 

 Catra’s head lolled to the side, eyes rolling as her mind tried to reconnect with reality. She hung limply in Adora’s hands, unable to muster up enough control of her body to challenge her condition. There was no fight left in her. Only the rolling of her stomach as every shake her body took threatened to heave up all the liquid she had consumed. So she let go. 

 

Adora could feel the moment Catra gave up. The fire extinguished, a true sign of defeat. And it scared her more than the yelling had. Because she had never, not once since she could remember, seen Catra give up. 

 

Terrified that she might have accidentally hurt her best friend, Adora tried to place Catra back on her feet. But Catra’s legs buckled, and the hands that seconds ago had immobilized her were now the only thing keeping her up. Her head hung down, hair covering her face. 

 

“ Catra, are you okay?” Adora prayed for a response. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. Catra?!”

 

For a moment there was no response, then Catra’s body heaved as she let out a sob. Coming from her, the noise sounded so foreign it took a second for Adora to register it as such. They stood there for a few moments. Adora frozen in stunned silence. Catra still hanging limply in Adora’s arms, body shaking lightly from tears she couldn’t stop. 

 

Catra finally turned her face up to look directly at Adora.

 

“You gonna tell me what to do now too?” The question came through gritted teeth. 

 

As Adora stared into her best friend’s heterochromatic eyes, she saw no fire. The anger was gone. Replaced with pain and accusation. With years of hurt, and years of hiding it, now on display. The sight tore Adora’s heart apart. She wanted nothing more than to take it all away. But she was helpless, and that made it so much worse. Because she was Adora, the best in her class, best fighter the Horde had seen in years, the strongest cadet in her age range. But despite it all she couldn’t help the one person she cared about the most. What was the point of having power if you couldn’t use it to help your friends?

 

Catra never broke eye contact. As the silence continued, defeat turned into defiance. Her stare became accusatory.

 

“You gonna be just like them?” an edge of Catra’s former anger underlined the words. “Gonna give me orders? How are  _ you _ going to punish me when I don’t follow them?”

 

Adora’s eyes brimmed with tears that blurred Catra’s face. Maybe she couldn’t stop the hurt, but she wouldn’t become the reason for it. 

 

“Never,” Adora choked out, fighting the knot in her throat. “Catra, I would never.”

 

Whatever was left of Adora’s heart broke again at the doubt in Catra’s eyes. Adora tried her hardest to find the words to make Catra believe. To make her understand that, no matter what, they were safe together. But she wasn’t good at words. Never had been. She was a soldier. And soldiers were creatures of actions. So as the feelings raged insider her, too intense to be labeled, Adora did the only thing her body knew to do in that moment. 

 

Their mouths crashed together awkwardly. The kiss was a little too forceful. Sloppy. Adora didn’t know what she was doing, had never done this with anyone before. But when Catra’s arms circled her shoulders, she couldn’t care any less if what she was doing was wrong. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of Catra pulling her closer, and the energy surging between them like a lightning bolt splitting the sky. The feeling tore at Adora’s chest, fighting its way up to the point where her lips touched Catra’s. It was simultaneously  painful and the best thing Adora had ever felt. The intensity of it burned, and she threw herself willingly into the inferno. 

 

They both wrenched apart at the same time, simultaneously gasping for air. Adora wasn’t sure when the gasps turned into sobs. She was only aware of pulling Catra into her. Of shielding her with her body, as if that could possibly be enough to protect her from all the pain and suffering trapped deep inside her. The shaking of Catra’s body against her own was proof enough of the futility of Adora’s task. 

 

Adora’s legs buckled and they both fell to the hard floor, still clinging desperately to each other. Adora buried her face against Catra’s hair, letting the soft fur soak up the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. She could feel Catra doing the same against her shirt, ruining her otherwise pristine uniform. 

 

Adora lost track of how long they sat there in a heap. A few minutes? An hour? Her grasp of time slipped away as she began to drift in and out of consciousness. Exhaustion from the raw display of emotion mixed with the alcohol in her system, and she began to nod off. She had a feeling Catra was under the same spell as the body in her arms began to relax slightly. 

 

“Catra..?” The name came out in a slurred whisper. Adora was almost convinced she hadn’t been heard, but Catra’s ears raised in attention,a sign she was listening. So, despite what felt like a wad of cotton stuck in her throat, Adora spoke. “Catra, it’s okay. It’s just me. It doesn’t matter what they do to us. You know?”

 

Adora paused as she briefly lost track of her thoughts. Catra remained silent. 

 

“You look out for me,” Adora continued, fighting the tears that threatened to fall again. “And I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.” 

 

The silence grew between them. Adora had just about given up on a response when Catra tilted her head up slightly, just enough to be heard. 

 

“You promise?” The voice that asked was small. Unsure. Desperate for reassurance. Adora remembered another time that voice had asked her the same question. Years separated the memory from the present, yet the sound was identical in its vulnerability. Adora knew she never meant anything as much as the words she spoke when she answered. 

 

“I promise.”

 

Hours later Adora was the first to start awake, shivering from the bite of the cold night air. She fought the heaviness of her eyelids, and the lead feeling in her brain, forcing herself to move. She tried to shake Catra awake, first gently, then, when she got no response, a bit more forcefully. In a moment of panic she shook her harder than intended. Catra’s eyes snapped open, yellow and blue glowing with the reflection of electric lights around them, unseeing. For a second they seemed to focus on Adora, but the next moment they rolled back and Catra’s eyelids fluttered shut. Further shaking produced no response. 

 

Adora tried to stand in one quick motion. She almost made it all the way up before she doubled over. Using the railing as support, she heaved up the contents of her stomach. The vile liquid burned just as much coming up as it had going down. Halfway through the process Adora vowed to never partake again. By the time her stomach was emptied she was sweating and shaking. 

 

She made her way slowly back to where Catra lay, each step like moving through wet cement. Adora considered it a small victory when she finally reached her unconscious best friend and lifted her up in her arms. She held still for a moment, forcing her sluggish body to pay attention, until she was satisfied with the slow but steady rise and fall of Catra’s chest. With that she began the long trek to their sleeping quarters. 

 

How she eventually made it back to the dorm Adora could not say if her life depended on it. She knew someone must have seen her. She had a sliver of a memory of hands guiding her through the dark to her bunk where she didn’t have the energy to do more than drop Catra and herself down on the bedding. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought she could remember a blanket being tossed over them. Still in a drunken stupor, Adora made a mental note to go easier on Lonnie in the next round of simulation training. With that last thought, she curled tighter around Catra and let her mind drift into unconsciousness, finally bringing an end to the hellish night. 

  
  


When Adora woke up the next morning Catra was nowhere to be seen. She remained absent through breakfast and the morning training. Adora tried asking the other cadets if they had seen her, but at best she got indifferent shrugs. She gave up her search when one of the Force Captains reminded her, with a few less than polite words, that she should be focusing on getting herself ready for testing. Adora reassured herself that Catra would not miss that as she walked through her pre-simulation routine in the locker room. She was in complete focus mode by the time the PA announcement rang through the speakers.

 

“ _ All squadrons, report to training area immediately for evaluation _ .”

 

With a confident smirk, she made her way to the simulation room. 

 

Less than 24 hours later a sword in the woods  would change life as she knew it forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to share all thoughts in the comment section. They are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any feelings about the story (positive, negative, or otherwise) please do let me know in the comments section.


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